Thursday, April 29, 2010

8 years ago today

What a day.
 It started with Helen coming into our room this morning to tell me she had a bad dream that I had died.
Poor girl was so sad and concerned.

As way of explaination, children with Attachment Disorders get uncomfortable when they start to feel close to their parents and will often follow up a sweet moment by doing all that they can to push you away.
So you can imagine how crazy my morning was after Helen crawled into bed with me and started to feel safe and glad that I was actually alive. Let's just say she missed the bus and was still in her jammas when I brought the boys to school. I brought her home and said "I think today is going to be a home day for you." I now understand what "a peace beyond understanding" truly means because I did not get the least bit upset with her antics this morning. I was actually amused (and a little sad) that she was acting out so hard. So I called the school and declared a mental health day and she just sat there and looked at me quite confused.

It wasn't until 9:35 that I realized what today is.

Eight years ago today, Rob was holding 4 month old Logan when he answered the phone.
It was the adoption agency.
We had asked for a 6 month postponement in our adoption when Logan was born.
So when what was supposed to be our travel group received their referrals on the 25th and 26th of April 2002, I was sad when we didn't get ours but "knew" it was for the best because we really thought it would be better to wait until Logan was closer to a year old to adopt.
It was late in the afternoon on Moday afternoon, and the director of our adoption agency was calling.
I heard Rob say,
"Wait a minute, I think Debbie is going to want to be on this call."
I looked at him quizically because I just figured it was a paperwork call about the postponement.
Suddenly I hear Lilian say that somehow our adoption paperwork went through and she had a referral for us in front of her.
She explained that she understood that we had wanted to wait 6 months but felt she had to tell us about the referral because we'd need to accept or decline it.
I just looked at Rob on the other phone holding Logan, stunned.
With no time to discuss it, we looked at each other, I nodded to him with tears in my eyes and said, "yes."

Here are the very first pictures we saw of our sweet girl.

And the picture that melted my heart....

I just LOVE that tongue sticking out.

Suddenly we had another daughter. We had gone from 2 children to 4 children in 4 short months.
A sweet baby girl was waiting for us in China.
My mind was racing.
How were we going to do this? Who would travel to China?
We had a 4 month old baby at home and now a 7 and a half month old baby in China.
Our international twins.
We soon decided that I would go to China and Rob would stay at home with the 3 kids. I had 6 weeks to buy whatever we needed for another baby, pack, figure out how to travel 1/2 way around the world, what was I going to eat there, how was I going to leave my one baby to go bring home another, and that was just what was going through my mind in the first hours.

Our sweet girl was waiting for us in China. We made it work and I brought her home on June 19th.

The first moment I saw her...

The first time I held her...

That was 8 years ago today.
This morning she was doing her very best to push me away when she started to feel close to me.
I told her that I still love her.
I told her how excited we were to know she was our daughter and we couldn't wait to bring her home.
We will always love her.
Someday she will feel safe enough to trust that love.
That is another day I will treasure forever.

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