Do you remember the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books? I loved reading them as a kid. The idea of reading along and being able to CHOOSE what happened next in the story was just so cool. "If you choose to open the door turn to page 53. If you choose to look behind the curtain turn to page 78." If you make a choice that leads to being eaten by a monster or stomped on by a dinosaur then you can always backtrack and find out where you made a bad choice and then reread the book with a new happier ending.
Today I was sharing with someone who I consider a sister about how things have been going. I haven't felt able to speak about it without crying until last night so I've been keeping to myself. A little retail therapy, starting and actually completing a craft, getting lost in blog world and adding to my own two blogs have kept my mind busy... not completely distracted but busy. I think about our daughter and wonder how she is all day long. I know in my heart that this is for all of our good in the long run. It is terribly painful and I second guess EVERYTHING. So I was talking with my "sister" and I suddenly remembered those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. I am trying so hard to make the right choices going forward. It is so difficult to know what the right choices are for my daughter and for our family as a whole. I pray that the right choice for one is also the right choice for all of us.
Unlike in the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books, in life there are no opportunities to remake your choices to change the ending of the story. We make choices and hope that they are the "right" ones. I don't know how this story will turn out. I'm just hoping to avoid the "monsters and dinosaurs" along the way.
I am ever so thankful to know that God is truly the one in charge of all of this. I am going on blind faith and trust in Him most days. I do know that wherever my sweet girl is tonight that He is with her. He knows her heart and He is going to help us all get through this. How does that saying go, "Whatever God brings you to, He'll also bring you through."
On a different note, we have 4 other children. Tonight I was able to spend some special time with our 2 oldest children. We went out to dinner at Chillis and then went out to get my oldest daughter some new shoes for dress up chapel at their school on Thursday. Her ever growing feet were a size 7.5 at the last dress up day and now they have stretched out to a size 8.5. At least her dress still fits her! I just love hanging out with them, talking with them and listening to them chat to each other is so much fun. Our two youngest sons got to go out to dinner with Nana and Rob got spent some time working on Little League/Softball stuff. Overall I'd say it was a good night for the 5 & 2 Scotts.
clean slate in the garden
2 days ago