What a rough weekend. At the advice of our daughter's therapist we did not go visit her. It was awful... for US. She called us tonight. Today there were a lot of visitors and home visits. She told me that ****** House is a "home". I told her that that was not true. Just because you share meals there, have a bed there and have a good time there does not make it "home." Home is where your family is, it's where you want to be when you are away. I explained that even when we stay in a house on vacation in North Carolina it is not our "home". Then I said, "Honey there is a saying that goes, Home is where your heart is." "oh... my heart is no wheres" It was only by the grace of God that I made it through that phone call without bawling my eyes out. I reminded her about our conversation with her therapist on Thursday and how she was asked, "Given a choice would you want to stay at ******* house or at home?" I asked her if she remembered her answer and she said, "I said home." "No sweetie you said, 'That's a hard question.'" "OH, now I remember. That's not good." "Sweetie do you remember what I said about good and bad and the truth... the truth is like a rainbow after a storm and lies are like dog poop. If it's the truth then we can deal with it. I want you to share the truth about how you are feelling no matter how "not good" you think it is. That is the only way we are going to be able to help you and help our family."
How sad that my sweet girl does not know where her heart is. How sad that she doesn't really understand what "home" means. How wonderful that she was finally able to share that with us. Maybe we really are doing the right thing by giving her some space to feel. So we are doing the best we can to help our daughter find her way. We are praying that God is speaking into her life and helping her find her heart.
documenting the ordinary
16 hours ago